Studying
by sweetsheart
Summary: Stein's having trouble studying. Marie's going to try and help. But it's only going to be a hindrance. But, at least it's a fun hindrance.


**A/N: CONSIDER THYSELF WARNED. This contains… **_**studying**_**. I know, it's gross.**

* * *

"What's wrong, Stein?" Marie asked, perching her hand on the nineteen year old's shoulder. He ran his fingers through his hair.

"Nothing is sticking, Marie. If I see the words 'deoxyribonucleic acid' one more time, so help me…" Stein said, slamming his head against the table. Marie rubbed his back.

"When's the last time you ate?" Marie asked. Stein sighed.

"It doesn't matter." Stein mumbled, looking at his girlfriend's expectant golden eyes.

"Yes, it does, we've been over this." Marie said. Stein raised an eyebrow.

"Was this after sex? Because, you know I don't remember anything for a good half-hour after sex." Stein asked, a little smirk on his face. Marie put her hands on her hips.

"You eat and I'll help you study afterwards." Marie said. Stein smiled slightly, resting his head on his hands.

"Fine." he reluctantly buckled, Marie smiling widely. She leant down and kissed him on the forehead.

"Good boy." Marie said. Stein's eyes narrowed at that.

"I'm not your dog, I'm your boyfriend." Stein said. Marie shrugged.

"Same difference." Marie said. Stein stood up and followed her into the small kitchenette of their apartment.

"You know that statement's redundant, right?" Stein asked.

"How can you not retain the human anatomy but you still retain all of your smartassedness?" Marie asked, dumping a packet of pasta into a pot of boiling water and throwing the packet away.

Pasta was in their budget; a step up from ramen but not quite real food. Marie was working as a waitress at the Deathbucks down the road, not having a Deathscythe assignment yet, and Stein earned a bit of money doing extra work around the university.

"It's a gift." Stein said.

"It's a pain in the ass." Marie corrected, under her breath.

"Ass, you say?" Stein asked, a sly grin on his face and hands brushing dangerously close to Marie's backside.

"You touch my butt and I _swear_ this boiling water will be all over your head before you can say 'Sexually depraved deviant.'" Marie snapped, waving an index finger in Stein's face. Stein's eyes widened.

"I'll wait 'til you're finished cooking." Stein said. Marie sighed.

"I swear, I need a spray bottle around here." Marie sighed to herself, putting some mince in a pan. Stein crossed his arms and sat down at the table.

"I resent that accusation." Stein said.

"You know, what happened to the nice, chaste little boy I met at Shibusen?" Marie asked.

"He spent a little bit too long with Spirit." Stein replied.

"Well… you don't have a three year old, do you?" Marie asked. Stein shrugged in general agreement.

"No, I don't. Which is a good thing." Stein said. Marie shrugged slightly.

"It wouldn't be so bad." Marie said.

"Marie. We're nineteen." Stein said. Marie sighed.

"One day, Stein." Marie said.

"You've already made this decision for the both of us, eh?" Stein asked, a little smile on his face.

"Well, if you say no, it's nothing that a safety pin and 'forgetting' to take my pill can't fix." Marie said. Stein shook his head and smirked.

"I'll hide them in your food." Stein said. Marie giggled slightly.

"Well, one, you've been watching too many movies. And, two, you don't make food for me, you know that. I'd be dubious about the little orange things strewn about in my salad." Marie said. Stein crossed his arms.

"You're devious." Stein said. Marie grinned.

"Well, I've gotta keep up with you, babe." Marie replied, stirring the now drained pasta into the mince and sauce.

"Water gone?" Stein asked, standing up.

"It is." Marie replied. Stein grinned and walked up next to Marie, grabbing her backside quickly and stealthily.

This was followed with a swift smack to the forehead with a wooden spoon.

* * *

After finishing dinner, doing the dishes and, after a rather sweet compliment about Marie's cooking from Stein, nearly having sex in the sink, Marie sat down to help Stein study.

"Okay. Genetics and anatomy, right?" Marie asked, picking up a textbook. Stein nodded.

"Right, every question you get right, I take off a piece of clothing." Marie said. Stein's eyes widened before his eyes closed.

"What are you doing?" Marie asked.

"Thinking about tennis. Cold showers. Marine biolo-_oof!_" Stein called as Marie smacked him in the stomach.

"Shut up. You need to relax, that's why you're not retaining anything. Now, we play this game or I make you write out all the answers ten times." Marie said. Stein sat up.

"Ask away." Stein said. Marie grinned.

"I thought so." she said, glancing down at the book.

"Okay. How many chromosomes does a person have and where do they come from?" Marie asked. Stein smirked. This was an easy one.

"Forty-six. Twenty-three come from the mother's egg, twenty-three from the father's sperm." Stein said. Marie smiled.

"Smartass." Marie said, removing her jumper to reveal the black singlet she was wearing.

"You like calling me a smartass, don't you?" Stein asked.

"Wow, you're sharp." Marie remarked, sarcastically. She then looked down at the book once more.

"What are the four bases of DNA?" Marie asked. Stein closed his eyes in thought. It took a while, but they eventually came to him.

"You've got adenine, guanine, thymine and… cytosine." Stein said. Marie smirked before looking at herself.

"Oh, this is going to be a short game." she remarked.

"Why?" Stein asked.

"Because I didn't put any shoes or socks on. Damn!" she said to herself. Stein smirked as Marie stood to her feet, unzipping her jeans and pulling them halfway down to her knees and sitting back down on the couch.

"That's cheating." Stein said.

"You're not going to learn anything if I take my pants off in one foul swoop." Marie said.

"I don't know, might get a little bit of practical biology in there." Stein said.

"So help me, I will put my pants back on." Marie said. Stein sighed.

"Just go." Stein said. Marie smirked before glancing down at the book, flicking through a couple of pages before settling.

"What are the main, opposite functions of the cerebrum and the cerebellum?" Marie asked. Stein nodded.

"The cerebrum deals with conscious thought, solving puzzles, working things out, things like that. The cerebrum deals with unconscious thinking, things like walking." Stein replied. Marie took a sharp breath in and Stein smirked at her as she threw her jeans across the room.

"My baby's so smart." Marie smiled to herself, looking down at the book, once more.

"Now, if you give the answer I think you're going to give, I will put all of my clothes back on, maybe even a chastity belt." Marie warned. Stein nodded.

"What is the largest organ in the human body?" Marie asked, seriously. Stein did very well not to smirk.

"The skin." Stein said. Marie gave a little clap and removed her singlet. Stein shook his head. There was no way he was retaining anything else tonight.

Well, nothing for his degree, anyway.

"Alright, Stein, what function does the brain stem have?" Marie asked. Stein smirked widely. He knew this.

"The brain stem controls innate bodily functions, things like breathing and sleeping." Stein said. Rather apt, he thought, considering the intrinsic hormonal reactions obviously affecting both he and his girlfriend at that moment. Marie smirked and threw Stein's textbook on the ground.

"I think we're done with the theory, don't you?" Marie asked, crawling itno Stein's lap. Stein nodded and watched as Marie pulled his glasses off with a purr, pressing her lips to his ear.

"Just for future reference," she whispered deeply, "_Now _is the appropriate time for the practical biology joke."

* * *

"Marie… that was… I… You were… I need to find my glasses." Stein blinked quickly, trying to find his glasses. They were strewn somewhere in the now rather dishevelled living room. Marie pulled her singlet on and giggled, resting against the coffee table.

"Yeah, you're not retaining much at the moment, are you?" Marie asked. Stein stammered slightly.

"I-I'm pretty sure I've forgotten everything." Stein smirked, laughing slightly.

"Why are you laughing?" Marie asked.

"Because I don't give a crap that I can't remember anything." Stein said. Marie sighed and shook her head.

"I'm sorry… I'm not a very good study partner." Marie giggled and bit her lip. Stein grit his teeth and clenched her fists.

"Death, don't do that." Stein shut his eyes.

"Don't do what?" Marie bit her lip again and began to blink quickly.

"You know what you're doing. The whole innocent, sweet thing." Stein groaned. Marie crawled over to Stein and knelt in front of him, pouting. And, after a tiny pause, she spoke up.

"What innocent thing?" she tilted her head to the side, pouted and twirled her blonde hair around her finger.

"Oh, you're evil." Stein cupped Marie's jaw with his hand and pulled her lips to crash against his, causing her to giggle and fall backwards onto the floor once more.

Needless to say, Stein didn't learn much that day.

Other than the correct timing for 'practical biology' jokes.


End file.
